The following is an account of what happened to me this Monday (4th October). It was a timely reminder that there are people of grace and kindness all around us, even if there are times when we can’t see them for the crowds that surround us.
Monday started early, I had a lot to do (even for a Monday) and there was a Tube strike to contend with and work around. I thought I had arrived early enough at the Regent Street bus stop to miss the crush of people who would normally catch the tube to work but had opted (like me) to try their luck with the buses instead. It didn’t take long before I realised that I had underestimated the situation. Fearing that it was now or never, I managed to squeeze onto the third number 23 bus which stopped at Regent Street. Relieved to be on my way, I found a spot on the floor near my feet for my backpack and grocery bag and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible amidst the crowd of Monday morning commuters. Everything was fine for the first 30 minutes or so and then I began to feel unwell.
Pull yourself together girl
I tried telling myself
You’ll be fine
No such luck. I began to feel as if I were no longer welcome in my own body and the bus around me began to change into a tunnel. I awoke in the door well, lying on my back with an angelic commuter (there is no other way to describe her) holding my hand in both of hers, reassuring me that I’d be alright. Confusion morphed into realisation as I slowly figured out what must have happened. I felt something metallic under my head
I must have hit my head when I landed
It was the first coherent thought that I could manage. Shock began to set in and I felt my body start to tremble slightly. The raw emotion of the past week (which I had done so well to mask up until that point) mixed with the shock and formed a tidal wave under which I felt overwhelmed
You’ll be alright
Reassured my Angel. I felt tears began to warm my eyes and then slide down my cheeks. I gripped her hand a little tighter. The bus driver arrived at the back door
You alright love?
Someone told him what had happened, that I’d hit my head. I felt unable to speak.
Should I call an ambulance?
I wasn’t sure, but I felt that right now wasn’t the time to be stoic. I wasn’t the right person to assess whether or not I’d hurt myself.
Yeah, maybe, yes.
I managed to get out those three words out, though they felt strange and like someone else was talking. The other commuters began to file off the bus as an ambulance was called. I felt like a bizarre specimen in a science lab which everyone glances at but doesn’t want to be seen to have done so. The bus driver reappeared at the back door. My Angel remained by my side, holding my hand. Not sure where to look, my let my gaze flit from my Angel, to my abdomen (watching as I breathed in and out, I was wearing red, my power colour), to the commuters as they left the bus. A police officer who was passing by stopped and asked the driver what had happened. He bent down to talk to me.
What’s your name?
Liz
You fell?
Yeah
Even though I was still collecting myself (I could only now feel blood tingling back into my fingers), I was beginning to feel stubbornly frustrated that I was only able to manage monosyllabic answers.
You two travelling together?
This time the question was directed at my Angel. It occurred to me that I didn’t know where she had come from. I couldn’t recall seeing her on the bus.
No, I was walking by and I saw her fall
Her slight eastern european accent began to filter through, I noticed for the first time her ringlets of strawberry blonde hair and realised that the look of concern which I had first noticed about her hadn’t left her face. I felt more tears slid down and drop onto my shoulders. I heard the bus driver’s London accent again
They asked me how old you were
He waited for effect
I said 40
I felt a giggle escape from my body and then a smile. I could hear sirens in the background.
Sirens? I get sirens?
The thought puzzled me and the moment felt immeasurably surreal. I had heard plenty of sirens during my time in London. I never thought I’d hear them ringing through the city for me. The police officer remarked
I think these are for you
Before adding with a reassuring smile
You’re getting well looked after – Police, Ambulance…
The ambulance arrived and one of the medics looked me over. All the while my Angel remained by my side, the last commuter left on the bus.
You’re going to survive, we’ll just take you to the ambulance for a couple of small tests
She followed just behind me as I slowly made my to the ambulance. I stopped at the ambulance door
Thank you
Those words seemed horribly inadequate
I wouldn’t have left you
Was her reply, her reassurance that I would have never had to pass through that moment in my life alone. I felt tears prick my eyes again. I had not before experienced such grace and kindness from a complete stranger. I felt humbled by it. Words failed me and it was the best I could do to say
Thank you.